Gone Girl

I haaaate Gillian Flynn! I’m not even done with “Gone Girl” and I’m steaming in jealousy stew. She puts together words that fit snugly as tile in grout, and make me hate myself for not writing it first.┬á That said, this book is worth the fuss made over it. Jewels on the page…

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Sirens

Ever have your light turn green but the guy in front of you won’t go? So you honk your horn and make the ‘WTF?’ gesture with an indignant upraised hand. Then the sirens and lights of a firetruck or ambulance race across the street in front of you, obviously seen by that jackass who wouldn’t go at the green light. But who’s the jackass now? ­čÖé

It’s White City season!

As in, “Devil In the White City” by Erik Larson. HH Holmes, considered America’s first serial killer, beguiles both men and women in late 19th century Chicago in this nonfiction bestseller, published in 2003. Simultaneously, the city battles natural and bureaucratic elements to stage the monumental 1893 World’s Fair. The huge buildings built to house the expositions were painted all white, to hypnotic affect for the fair’s visitors and Chicago residents unhappily accustomed to the black filth of the rest of the city.

┬áLarson’s book has been sitting on my shelf for years; I finally dusted it off last week and am both riveted and repulsed. Funnily enough, Di Caprio is set to play HH Holmes in the movie based on the book, though the former may still be at the preproduction stage. “White City” is in the air I guess. I haven’t finished reading yet, but Holmes’ gruesome techniques and even his penmanship are said to dovetail Jack the Ripper’s. Ugh!

Crashing

Ever walk past a house wafting sumptuous BBQ smells? On my to-do list is to crash a stranger’s BBQ, act like I belong there and mooch a meal. I’ll saunter in: “Sorry I’m late. I’m a friend of Mike’s,” which is my ready line, since everyone knows someone named Mike. I’ll carry a covered dish (nothing in it, just a covered empty container, since I’m there to mooch a meal rather than feed others). Confidence is key; act like I belong and count on people at the BBQ being too timid to question me closely and kick me out. It worked a few times in Cary Grant movies when he played an imposter among rich society. John Belushi used to walk into people’s houses and raid their fridges. Wish me luck!

Food visions

You know how people have seen images of Jesus or the Virgin Mary on their shower curtain or toast? I was rolling out pumpkin pie dough and it was shaped just like the borders of the Czech Republic. I ask you, what are the odds?

Awkward

Ever get a Christmas present from someone whom you didn’t expect to give you anything, and you got them jack shit?